"Why does it seem like we always need more conversations to work out our issues? We’ve been married for so many years, it’s frustrating that he/she doesn’t get me by now!" This is a complaint I’ve heard from clients enough that it’s worth digging into. Does it mean you’re hopelessly mismatched and doomed to fail in your relationship? Probably not. This is not a post about if you've discussed the same issue over and over, and can't make progress on it. That's another topic

One of the most common complaints I get from my clients individually is that they feel dismissed by their partners, or they don’t get respect from them. If I had a partner that dismissed me, or didn’t respect me, that would make my partner sound like a pretty bad person, right? What if I told you lots of us make our partners feel this way without even realizing it? It can come down to some pretty simple things that we can fix. A common situation couples find themselves in i

One of the most common stumbling blocks I come across for couples is when partner A is upset about something that partner B did (or didn't do), and then A brings it to B's attention. "How could you be so thoughtless, it's like you don't care about me at all!" One of the most common "mistakes" people make during conflicts, according to couples therapists anyway, is being defensive. What does being defensive mean? Something like partner B telling A they shouldn't be so upse

Occasionally when I’m counseling individual clients, the topic of their relationship comes up. Sometimes they’re married and trying to...