COUPLES THERAPY SERVICES
By committing to and growing from a course of couples therapy, you can feel the weight of resentment lifted from every interaction you have, and start feeling that positive connection with your partner again. By changing the dynamic of your marriage, you can remember how good it feels to be in a satisfying relationship.
What is the dynamic that is leading to conflict or a lack of connection? That's what TCC can help you find out. Diagnosing the problem is the first step toward improving or repairing your relationship. It turns out it's often much deeper than what you see on the surface. In addition, couples do the best when they each recognize their part and commit to working as a team against the problem, rather than working against each other to win the fight.
Realistically, it takes a few sessions to go beneath the surface, accurately identifying the core issues and a robust set of interventions to help correct the course of your relationship. It is only then that the transformation truly starts to occur. Couples do best when they commit to coming for a series of sessions, and putting in a concerted effort to doing the work and staying with it.
Each couple's issues are uniquely theirs. However, solutions often include work in one of these areas below, which are some of the fundamental ingredients of healthy relationships.
Solid relationships require a lot of honest, vulnerable communication. A good rule of thumb is that they require about 3 times as much communication as people are naturally inclined to. Most of us aren't taught this! We can work on ways to make sure you feel comfortable communicating with your partner, and learn effective ways to share what you're thinking.
It's hard to keep our cool when we're disagreeing about issues that we feel are important, or when we feel we're being attacked unfairly. Learning how to head off arguments, and learning how to de-escalate them once we find our tempers rising are important skills for every successful relationship.
CHANGING HOW YOU VIEW YOUR PARTNER
Disagreements can easily make us feel that there is something wrong with our partner. In reality, many of the private thoughts we have about their motivations or qualities help us feel better about ourselves, but aren't completely fair to the other person. Identifying these thoughts, understanding where they come from, and adjusting to a more even-handed view of things is crucial for a happy relationship. And the best part is, your partner can do the same thing for you!
INCREASING QUALITY TIME
Each relationship is unique, but every relationship requires the partners to have enjoyable shared experiences. It's easy for this to drop by the wayside as life gets in the way. But without these, we quickly lose any goodwill we had for the person we fell in love with. Working on a routine to make enjoyable time for yourselves is an important ingredient for success.
Merely knowing the problem is a big part of the battle. But you still have to find a way to accomodate each other so that everyone is happy. Finding those solutions isn't a one-size-fits-all process. Each partner needs to feel satisfied with the path forward, but sometimes it takes a little help from a therapist to get the ball rolling. With practice, TCC can help you learn to problem-solve on your own so you can tackle any future problems.
SETTING EXPECTATIONS TOGETHER
Most of us go into marriage thinking we know what it will be like. It turns out that we often have different expectations from our partners (like: How do you balance household duties and gender roles? How much time should you spend together or apart?) and if this remains unaddressed it will result in conflicts later on, that may even seem unrelated to the root issue. No one is wrong just for having those expectations. The key is to discuss them and understand your partner before resentment creeps in.